for Ron March 28/94

once when i crossed her
or should i say
once when i crossed from this place
to the other
i saw her          perhaps for the first time
i saw her smile          her small disjointed smile
& i thought to myself — i thought is this the smile
one thousand ships & my fear of the dark
launched by her smile — her subtle knowing

once when i sang her name
or should i say once
when she left me sighing
breathing in the same air
once when we were here as you are now
once i thought or thought to sing
her praises

& now it is i who lay
waste to so many dreams
based in & around my being
i lay waste to her name
& my voice’s sweet singing

1^st Draft
[signature]